Life can be so abundantly beautiful and overwhelming at the same time. We are often rushing to “do” things. Silence and lack of activity can be terrifying sometimes. The more we do, the more greedy we get in order to do more. Somewhere along this crazy cycle, we both lose and find ourself.
As a person who studied in NIT Trichy and lived the hostel life, I got so used to being surrounded by people all the time. I thrived on social energy. There was never a dull moment, never a dearth for companionship. I was just happy being happy and living life as it was. But I had no direction, no goals and no thoughts about my career.
Fast forward to life now – I am a full time dancer. Living in California. This means that I spend most of my day alone. By myself. Practicing or working things out in the studio. Not even the buzz of traffic or noisy neighbor’s kids to give me company. It can’t be more contrasting than what I have been used to before this. And yet somehow, I have never been more focussed or driven my entire life.
So where is the balance you may ask? I don’t know if I have one. Most of my friends work in the tech industry. I hardly see them anymore. And not because we have drifted apart or I don’t love them. But because my life as an artist automatically means I have a schedule that is completely contrasting to everybody else’s. I train every morning and evening. And I rehearse weekends or late evenings. I’m usually flexible or free in the afternoons and this is when my family in India is sleeping or my friends here are busy trying not to sleep post lunch at work.
Finding a balance in life is never easy. But I believe that it all comes down to priorities. Knowing when to give priority to what and knowing how to make choices even if they are not ideal for you is how you strive to strike that balance. Career vs Relationship is a constant struggle. And everybody goes through this in varying degrees at every point in life. But we have the gift of choice. And if we have our priorities set straight the answer is simple. Most times there is no right or wrong answer, it only boils down to what you “choose” to do.
For instance, say I don’t have rehearsals one Saturday. I can choose to go to class, spend time with my husband or go hangout with my friends. At this point, I think back to my week – have I been really productive this week? Have a I worked really hard? If I haven’t – I go to class without second thoughts. See if I can manage to take him along. If I have, I think again – did I spend quality time with my husband? Or did I have too many late evening rehearsals? How long has it been since I went out and met people? You get the drift.. I ask myself all these questions to figure out what is priority at that moment. And the answer can change in every situation.
That is the beauty of it. Just because you choose something at one instance, doesn’t mean you don’t care for another. Just because someone chose their relationship today, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about their future. It just means that at this point, this probably needs more of their attention and focus. And it is a constant effort to juggle between our priorities.
It is also important to know that you can’t have too many things on your priority list for it to be an effective choice. Its complicated enough to juggle between top 3 most important things in your life. Unfortunately, we can’t have it all 🙂